One year ago today
Taken last night after dinner
One year ago today Emma joined our family. It's unbelievable at times that a full year has passed by. We've been thankfully to experience so many "1st's" with her. From teeth to potty training. We've been celebrating all weekend, with a trip to Disneyland, a trip to the beach, and a good Chinese New Year dinner. You wait so long for "the day" to come and it all seems to go so fast. I still remember the first night we had Emma. Before we left for China we were given her schedule. Amoung other things listed, it said that every night around 1am, she wakes up for a bottle. I remember Emma stirring around in need of a bottle that first night. I was more than happy to get out of bed and make her the bottle. After all, I had waited 15 months to make her a bottle. Blurry eyed, I stood over the sink and made her a bottle of formula. I looked over to see what time it was. That's when I felt sad and tried real hard not to cry. Tonight was the night. I was not the only "mama" awake at 1am to feed Emma a bottle. I was sure that her foster mother was also awake. I'm sure out of routine she woke up at 1am almost every night and she was awake that night. Only there was no baby to feed. Her crib was empty. Emma was gone. Even though she had dreamt about how hard that night was going to be, I'm sure it was still hard. I too had dreamt about that night and my crib was full and I had a hungry baby. That's when it hit hard. Adoption is full of emotion. Loss and gain, to be felt by so many. Hard to believe it's been a year.