Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Sam's club has a great deal on a jar of nuts...only $13,000

WOW, such a deal! Only about $13,000 for some nuts. What the hell am I talking about? Well, at the expense of sounding like a total assclown, here it goes. Remember when I felt like crap ALL summer? I subjected myself to a esophagogastroduodenoscopy(scope down the throat) and a diagnostic laparoscopy. What ever came about all that? Well nothing as all the Dr.'s were concerned. It was my self diagnosis that found out what was wrong.

It was while lying in bed recovering from the laparoscopy that I only ate food which had been blended and that could fit through a straw, that I felt better than ever. I wasn't nauseous at all. That was until I sat down on a Friday night and as usual, ate handfuls of nuts. Lots of nuts. Kinda like I did ALL summer. Saturday I was nauseous and all sorts of sick.

Wait a minute......grandma can't eat nuts either, otherwise she's in bed all day sick to her stomach. Now that I think about it. I remember the GI Doctor telling the lady next to me in the recovery room not to eat nuts. Something about ridges in her stomach and that nuts would make her sick if she were to eat them. Ok...... so I didn't eat nuts for about another 2 weeks and then tried eating nuts again...to test my theory. Yup, I was really sick. Crap, you mean to tell me I was considering having someone take out my uterus and all it was, was Planter's Stinkin' nuts!!! Gawd do I feel like a dumbshit. Now that the bills have arrived, I feel like an even bigger dumbshit!

$13,000 for both procedures. And NO, I don't have to pay out of pocket for both and YES I do have insurance....but what? $13,000 for some nuts? Needless to say, next time I feel like crap, I'm just going to live with it.

Enough about what a dipstick I am.....on to the cute kids.

Here's Emma loving her big sister. Let's hope this is also the case come Friday. We leave Friday to fly from LA to Charleston, South Carolina. So if you hear screaming coming from the sky on Friday, you can bet it's us! How does a 22 pound diva require us to carry 80 more pounds of crap? I thought packing for China was hard. Two strollers, a car seat, two diaper bags(Phil get's to carry one too), Phil's laptop, snacks, sippy cups, surprise toys to keep them entertained, a few DVD's to play on the laptop, mom's vodka, dad's bourbon, blah, blah, blah....and that's just the stuff we're trying to get through the metal detectors. My apologies now to the poor suckers in line behind us, while we struggle with trying to bend all the FAA rules just get through the security check.

I probably won't post before Thanksgiving. Hope you all have a great one and truly take the time to think of what you are Thankful for. I'm thankful for my wonderful family and my awesome husband. You know, the man who's bringing home Jessica from the emergency room any minute now. Poor Jess, really wasn't feeling better. In fact she's sick again. It was tonight when we lifted up her shirt and saw that the 3 year old looked 9 months pregnant and her belly was as hard as a bowling ball that a trip to the ER was in order. Obviously something was wrong. Fecal impaction. I'll spare you of all the details. But she was so blocked up that the food was coming back in the form of vomit. She just walked in the door with daddy and looks much better. I can't imagine the pain the poor thing has been experiencing. Gotta go, can't wait to tuck her in! OH, Phil just told me, what a trooper she was. The DR. said he's seen adults about to go through the roof with less "blockage" and that she's a strong little girl :)

Have a great Thanksgiving!


At 10:36 PM, Blogger Connie said...

Happy Turkey Day to you too!

Stay nut-free ;0) Yup, ousting the uterus would have done nothing for that situation!

Glad Jess is doing better - poor kiddo. That's a lousy kinda not feeling good to say the least.

At 4:53 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Poor Jess- glad she is feeling better and glad you figured out what was wrong with you.......staying away from nuts is a far cry from surgery! glad you figured it out and the guy with umpteen years of medical school couldn't! safe trip and happy thanksgiving.

At 9:52 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. What a year it has been and so much to be thankful for too.

As for the nuts, I was diagnosed with IBS, but someone I worked with told me not to eat nuts. It worked. No pain with no nuts. I still have to have a good cashew now and then, but I now know what to expect. Sorry you had to go through all of that yuckiness.

Poor Jess. I hope she is having a good morning and that she is able to be a good flyer for you. Good luck and have fun on your trip. Let me know when you are coming to Colorado.

At 6:44 PM, Blogger tracy said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

My grandma has that same nutty problem....I hope I don't inherit it.

At 3:35 AM, Blogger Ford & Alyson said...

Safe journey heading to SC. Hope all goes well with the kiddies.

Happy Thanksgiving to your family from ours...

ps: and we really don't think you are a DH. you sound plenty smart to us.


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